Breetelgeuse

People have really lost the gravity and earnestness of marriage. No political or any type of further discussion. I’m just stating, people say their vows so loosely nowadays. They are tied together so tightly in society yet the bind is so easily broken with one signature. No wonder people are questioning the legality of it all.

june 25, 2011

I could go to church and read the Bible and seek God’s presence forever and understand the severities of having kids outside of marriage. However, watching Teen Mom and all of these TLC shows SCARES me into not doing anything crazy and making wise decisions to NOT be like the young girls I see on the tele. Sometimes that’s what I really need. I need to watch documentaries on TV of childbirth and teens having babies in order to really grasp the reality others have to face early on and outside of marriage. I hella want babies, though. Don’t play widdit. Just in due time and with the right person (a husband) and stuff like maybe in 6 years or something…lolz Who knows what time will do and what God’s plan is until things really pick up? Haha my posts are great lately.

Bring me a husband.

Listen. Since I was about fourteen I thought people getting married young was foolish, unwise, on the verge of desperate, etc. A few weeks ago I was praying. Hardcore, face in pillow, crying my eyes out mid-afternoon kind of prayer. In that moment, I was seeking more of His presence and for clarity in my current life situation. I was praying for strength, for God to show me where I am headed, to open doors and to reveal where life will take me next. I began praying not only for the near future, but I began asking for God to show me a huge shift that I need to make in order to grow in general and especially with my music. I prayed for His hand upon my songwriting, my voice and fingers, for inspiration. For clarity. Almost 2 hours go by and I hear this voice saying, “You need to get married first.” I kid you not.

I began crying harder, weeping now. Okay, God, I prayed, if that is you saying that, let your will be done. Seriously, just take over. I am nothing without you. Bring me my husband, then. I am trusting you. Everything I have asked for you have provided me with and more. I give it up to you and my hope rests on your timing.

Wow. Mind you, I am only nineteen years old. I will be twenty in a few short months. I know I am young. I have mocked myself and others for being so young. I’ve written so many songs about being young that it has almost turned into a joke at this point. So, yes, I am nineteen years *young* and the thing I believe I must do is get married. It all makes complete sense- I’ll get eaten alive by dirty men no matter where I go. I will surely be tempted. Can you imagine me being single and extraordinarily known for my music? Seems odd. 1 Corinthians 7 talks about marriage and how it is better to stay single. Well, it also says it is better to get married than to burn with lust. TROOOOTH.

Something that has always stuck in my mind to watch for at concerts is the ring on the musicians finger(s), mostly at Christian shows. It seems as though before all the big names in music ventured off into the world of music, they got married first. Many rings on many fingers. Not that I compare myself to others on that level necessarily, but it make sense that I get married before I run off and do big things and fulfill my giant dreams. It is actually the wiser of the two, rather than to run around the music industry without a ring on my finger and someone to come home to.

As I said, I will be tempted. I am so passionate it is not a joke. 1 Corinthians 7 talks about not being able to control passion. I do not believe I will ever give in before I marry, but I am tempted everyday. I don’t think it is fair for me to meet a man (I think I know who it is, by the way) and bring along my inability to control my lustful desires and crap. It seems so unprepared and childish of me to bring any baggage into a relationship and I need to work on a few things within myself before I believe this will really happen. Full on, though, I am ready. I no longer think or talk about how I am in NO way getting married anytime soon. Well, I know it needs to happen. I also know I am stubborn and impatient. Pray for me, guys. Ha.

1. “You’re like family.”

2. “You’ll love them.”

3. “They’ll love you. They’ll be like, ‘Oh Bree! You are so beautiful!’”

4. “You’re always welcome here.”

All of this just this week, even. I don’t mind this being permanent if God wills it to happen, ha. It does not scare me one bit. I feel very much appreciated and welcomed into a family I have known for such a short amount of time. Mexicans, man. “Marry our son!” Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhh